"Be lamp unto yourselves" the Buddha said. And so, it is not when we bask in the warm sunshine of our lives, when we should examine the truth of our dharma. It should be in the deepest and darkest hours of our lives when we must light the lamp of Truth and examine the dharma therein.
Everyone can be extremely gracious, benevolent, generous and kind when the going is good. It is when the chips are down and we are forced into the dark depths of our minds, by a collapsing world...it is THEN, that we should examine the quality of our dharma. And what do we see? Do we see Dharma projected out into our own shape and form? Do we see Dharma personified as a person (who looks suspiciously like ourselves) performing all the virtuous acts and deeds that we remember ourselves doing?
That is not Dharma because, although i am no expert, i am certain that true Dharma has no need for a reflection of itself to admire. It needs no reminder of its own virtuous deeds, nor does it require recognition. That is an impostor..and standing behind it, in the shadow is our true frightened little Self, that forces itsef ahead everytime things don't go right. Dharma and the Self cannot coexist. Either we subject ourselves totally to what we have been taught and claim to practice, or otherwise kid ourselves and hide behind demons with names like Reasons, Excuses and Alibis.
That is not Dharma because, although i am no expert, i am certain that true Dharma has no need for a reflection of itself to admire. It needs no reminder of its own virtuous deeds, nor does it require recognition. That is an impostor..and standing behind it, in the shadow is our true frightened little Self, that forces itsef ahead everytime things don't go right. Dharma and the Self cannot coexist. Either we subject ourselves totally to what we have been taught and claim to practice, or otherwise kid ourselves and hide behind demons with names like Reasons, Excuses and Alibis.
It would be a tragedy to our spiritual growth to think we actually are what we have not even begun to understand.
I for one, may have done a few good things which resemble dharma, but the dharma is not yet a permanent resident in me. The Self has to go.
