10 Things...

I have learned that how things are, may very simply be how we allow ourselves to perceive them. From all accounts, I have had an annus horribilis (no, that’s not a body part) and yet when I look at how my views on certain things have changed simply by being in association with a kind Guru, the past year may yet be annus mirabilis, and if the past 12 months have not been a wonderful year, it definitely has been a year of wonders.

Here are the “10 Things I Would Not Have Done Had I Not Met the Guru”, and they are changes that are here to stay.

1.              For starters, I most definitely would not have stopped eating meat. I didn’t like vegetables and greens and going vegetarian was the last thing on my mind. Until I was shown otherwise, it didn’t occur to me that I was an integral component of the machinery that directly led to the merciless abuse and torture of animals – I was the demand that fuelled the cruelty. I was shown that. And meat lost its appeal;

2.              I definitely would still be suffering from “depression” and paying good money seeking treatment.  I would probably sill be gripped by the feeling of sheer panic when I run out of pills. It would never have occurred to me that “I” am the source and supreme creator of all my woes and unhappiness. No one else. And it would never have occurred to me that depression could be cured. 

Although I am still not immune from the occasional sense of dread, instead of looking for the meds, I learned to try and catch the run-away mind and just by trying, the sense of dread dissipates. On my own, it would have been unlikely for me to realize that I can catch my mind and indeed I am not obliged to obey the monkey which is popping all kinds of things into my mind;

3.              I definitely would still be looking subconsciously at everything in life as if I am the centre of my universe, if not the centre of the entire universe.  If i think that i am the centre of my universe, it follows that the only reason to have anyone around me at all, would be due to them being (knowing or unknowing) willing accomplices to a never- ending series of subtle plots, all designed to make me feel good and happy. Otherwise, there would have been no need to have anyone around. That didn't do me much good at all.

It would not have occurred to me that people who come into my life has a purpose to be there and most bring along precious lessons if not for them to teach, then for me to realize and learn.

As time passes, I see my views change…and the seared conscience, repairs.

4.              If it weren’t for the Guru, I would not have the compassion to see the preciousness of each life in each and every stray animal I pass by daily and every single fish floating helplessly in restaurant tanks. Indeed I would not have noticed the insects that I swat, the worms that I step on and the roaches that I trap and kill. I definitely would not be blowing mantras at them. I won’t know what a mantra sounds like and I won’t any appreciation of how potent the words are;

5.              If I have never met the Guru, I would never have been able to develop a sense of compassion for people who mistreat animals and subject the poor animals to all kinds of torture. I would simply be angry and wish them ill.

6.              I would never have been able to perceive time beyond the span of a human life. I would not have thought beyond the next 12 months, let alone plan for life hereafter. With the shift in my understanding of “lifetime(s)” I change as I realize that I have way much more options beyond the usual. The kind Guru has given me depth, and width and a much greater scope in every aspect of my life, especially my thoughts and ensuing decisions.

 In other words, I don’t have to be angry when something doesn’t go my way. I don’t need to want happiness so badly all the time. I don’t have to be stuck in my usual reactions and responses to things.

7.              I would never on my own, have found that illusive bliss that exists somewhere between the feeling on the one hand, that my life is the bee’s knees and on the other hand, that my life sucks and really there’s no reason being alive for another minute. It would never have occurred to me think of the human life as being so precious and yet not to get so hung up on it.

8.              I would not have thought of living beings as being “sentient” and having “consciousness”. In fact I cannot imagine when I would ever use the word “sentient” let alone be aware of its meaning and significance. Actually, I might have gone a whole life without having used words like “quiescent”, “habituations”, “benighted”, “equanimity”, “dharma” (other than in relation to Greg) and a lot more. I might even have uttered words like “schmetterling” and “zeitgeist” more. And it is much more than just having a wider vocabulary  -  by just having those words in the fore of my mind changes the way I think and decide. They red-flag thoughts that have long influenced me, they sign-posts options I never knew existed and trigger the recollections of lessons and teachings;

9.              I would not have learned to let go. Simply relax my mind’s grip and let that bad thought slip through;

10.          I would never have been able to be truly happy and grateful merely for being alive and having this very moment. Without the Guru's influence "tomorrow" would probably be a chore rather than an opportunity.

I may never have learned to love myself. Quoting Victor Hugo  “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves”.

This is especially true when we find ourselves being loved by a Buddha.

Fellowship

In the course of a conversation with a friend today, I was asked what I thought was the most important factor when one is starting on a spiritual beginning. Without hesitation, my answer was “Fellowship”. The only reason I could answer without hesitation is because it has been on my mind for quite a bit of time.

The fellowship of dharma brothers and sisters is probably the only safe harbor that can shelter you from the storms of worldly concerns, and this is especially so at the beginning of the journey when your spiritual muscle is still frail.  Yonder, life conspires to distract you from your practice, usually by throwing in “genuinely” important things such as the mortgage repayments, the career-making assignment and the dying friend or family member, as if our own intransigent and habituated mind is not problem enough. I placed the word genuine in parenthesis simply because I suspect that what is genuine and what is real would most likely shift as we mature spiritually.

When you first get into the dharma, it is the fellowship that makes dharma FUN. At first you take it for granted till you try looking for fun things to do, which also happens to be virtuous, with people you like. It is not that easy. Outside the fellowship there is no short of fun things to do but most can hardly be considered dharmic. Most assuredly, there are not bad things per se but it is only within the fellowship that you can practice Guru Devotion and have fun doing it. In fact, just by participating in the fellowship activities, whether you realize it or not, and even as you are having fun, you are more likely than not, “carrying out activities on behalf of the Guru” and also “acting under the Guru’s instructions”. That is the genius of it.

Think of the fellowship with your friends in dharma as a powerful and yet ever so subtle process of rewiring your instincts, your priorities and your automated actions.  In your heart of hearts, you may have longed to do something worthwhile with your life but never thought it possible. Never had the courage to be different. Not daring NOT to want the material and yet transient ambitions the world calls you to submit to. In the fellowship, you see possibilities. You see your potential being lived by others and happily so.

The friendships you make and the values these friendships underscore…they change you. Think of it as re-writing your rules, which now states: “it’s hip to be good…and different” and “it’s cool to be a fool to the world”. In a world where consumer capitalism is the predominant religion, the fellowship is that underground network that shelters you from a world of delusions. It is your Zion.

When you are in that fellowship you burn with the blue flame of spiritual zest and you may be excused for thinking that you are stronger than you are. And for sure, you grow in knowledge, and in spirit and in faith. Yet it is more likely that you are basking in the collective blaze of positive karma of your fellows, which is constantly kindled by the collective merits attained by the practice of devotion, and rekindled masterfully by the Guru himself.

The absolute sacrosanctity of the fellowship is immediately felt when it is not within your immediate vicinity. It then dawns on you that what kept you ablaze in the hitherto said flame wasn’t so much from within you, but more from what was around you. On your own, you may find to your dismay that you are the least of cinder…more ash than coal…and going out faster than you would like.