I have learned that how things are, may very simply be how we allow ourselves to perceive them. From all accounts, I have had an annus horribilis (no, that’s not a body part) and yet when I look at how my views on certain things have changed simply by being in association with a kind Guru, the past year may yet be annus mirabilis, and if the past 12 months have not been a wonderful year, it definitely has been a year of wonders.
Here are the “10 Things I Would Not Have Done Had I Not Met the Guru”, and they are changes that are here to stay.
1. For starters, I most definitely would not have stopped eating meat. I didn’t like vegetables and greens and going vegetarian was the last thing on my mind. Until I was shown otherwise, it didn’t occur to me that I was an integral component of the machinery that directly led to the merciless abuse and torture of animals – I was the demand that fuelled the cruelty. I was shown that. And meat lost its appeal;
2. I definitely would still be suffering from “depression” and paying good money seeking treatment. I would probably sill be gripped by the feeling of sheer panic when I run out of pills. It would never have occurred to me that “I” am the source and supreme creator of all my woes and unhappiness. No one else. And it would never have occurred to me that depression could be cured.
Although I am still not immune from the occasional sense of dread, instead of looking for the meds, I learned to try and catch the run-away mind and just by trying, the sense of dread dissipates. On my own, it would have been unlikely for me to realize that I can catch my mind and indeed I am not obliged to obey the monkey which is popping all kinds of things into my mind;
3. I definitely would still be looking subconsciously at everything in life as if I am the centre of my universe, if not the centre of the entire universe. If i think that i am the centre of my universe, it follows that the only reason to have anyone around me at all, would be due to them being (knowing or unknowing) willing accomplices to a never- ending series of subtle plots, all designed to make me feel good and happy. Otherwise, there would have been no need to have anyone around. That didn't do me much good at all.
It would not have occurred to me that people who come into my life has a purpose to be there and most bring along precious lessons if not for them to teach, then for me to realize and learn.
As time passes, I see my views change…and the seared conscience, repairs.
4. If it weren’t for the Guru, I would not have the compassion to see the preciousness of each life in each and every stray animal I pass by daily and every single fish floating helplessly in restaurant tanks. Indeed I would not have noticed the insects that I swat, the worms that I step on and the roaches that I trap and kill. I definitely would not be blowing mantras at them. I won’t know what a mantra sounds like and I won’t any appreciation of how potent the words are;
5. If I have never met the Guru, I would never have been able to develop a sense of compassion for people who mistreat animals and subject the poor animals to all kinds of torture. I would simply be angry and wish them ill.
6. I would never have been able to perceive time beyond the span of a human life. I would not have thought beyond the next 12 months, let alone plan for life hereafter. With the shift in my understanding of “lifetime(s)” I change as I realize that I have way much more options beyond the usual. The kind Guru has given me depth, and width and a much greater scope in every aspect of my life, especially my thoughts and ensuing decisions.
In other words, I don’t have to be angry when something doesn’t go my way. I don’t need to want happiness so badly all the time. I don’t have to be stuck in my usual reactions and responses to things.
7. I would never on my own, have found that illusive bliss that exists somewhere between the feeling on the one hand, that my life is the bee’s knees and on the other hand, that my life sucks and really there’s no reason being alive for another minute. It would never have occurred to me think of the human life as being so precious and yet not to get so hung up on it.
8. I would not have thought of living beings as being “sentient” and having “consciousness”. In fact I cannot imagine when I would ever use the word “sentient” let alone be aware of its meaning and significance. Actually, I might have gone a whole life without having used words like “quiescent”, “habituations”, “benighted”, “equanimity”, “dharma” (other than in relation to Greg) and a lot more. I might even have uttered words like “schmetterling” and “zeitgeist” more. And it is much more than just having a wider vocabulary - by just having those words in the fore of my mind changes the way I think and decide. They red-flag thoughts that have long influenced me, they sign-posts options I never knew existed and trigger the recollections of lessons and teachings;
9. I would not have learned to let go. Simply relax my mind’s grip and let that bad thought slip through;
10. I would never have been able to be truly happy and grateful merely for being alive and having this very moment. Without the Guru's influence "tomorrow" would probably be a chore rather than an opportunity.
I may never have learned to love myself. Quoting Victor Hugo “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves”.
This is especially true when we find ourselves being loved by a Buddha.
This is especially true when we find ourselves being loved by a Buddha.
